You've met the person you want to share your life with but if you want to live happily ever after, you may have to learn to share your finances too.

According to relationship counsellors Relate, money is the top cause of arguments between couples. So if you don't want to fall out over finances, start talking.

"When it comes to money, couples need to talk as openly as they can about their values and beliefs," says Corinne Sweet, author of Stop Fighting About Money (Hodder & Stoughton). If you find it difficult, she suggests writing each other a letter.

Explain how you were brought up around money, how money makes you feel - scared, excited, out of control - and what it signifies to you now. Do you look at money as a security blanket or a means of having fun?

Do your money patterns mix?
"We all have our money patterns and these also affect our relationships," Sweet continues. "Some people are spenders while others are savers. Then you've got people who are hoarders, gold-diggers or ostriches - they're the ones who throw the bills behind the sofa."

Luckily, it doesn't matter even if you have opposite money patterns as long as you can learn to compromise.

Sharing your finances
"There are no rules about how you should organise your money," says Jasmine Birtles, co-author of A Girl's Best Friend Is Her Money (Boxtree). "The main thing is to find something that's acceptable to you both."

One of your first decisions will probably involve your bank account and what you decide will depend on personal choice as well as your circumstances. "For example, if your husband or wife is the main breadwinner, you could get a lump sum transferred from the joint account into your own account each month," says Birtles. "Other people are happy to have one big account with each partner making withdrawals whenever they want."

Alternatively, you might decide to have two separate accounts for personal use plus a joint account to pay the mortgage and bills. A standing order is all you need to transfer funds between accounts. Just one word of warning about joint accounts: make sure you both know the limit on withdrawals (and how much you're both taking out each day) so that you don't go overdrawn.

Keeping track
When you're sharing finances, it's important you both know who's spending what. "Keep track of outgoings by jotting them down in a book or putting them onto the computer," says Birtles. "That way it's there in black and white and it's easier to keep on top of your finances."

It's also useful if one of you takes charge financially. That person should be the one who has the book and checks the statements."

You could also try keeping a spending diary for a month or two. "If you write down everything you spend, you can get a really good idea of what you're wasting your money on," says Birtles. "Then you can start cutting down on things you don't really need and spending money on things that matter. Or, better still, invest it for your future."

Should you say 'I do' to a prenup?
The purpose of a prenuptial or premarital agreement is to record the parties' intentions as to the division of assets on divorce.

"The couple can set out what they brought into the marriage from a financial perspective and they can try to 'ring-fence' their assets," says solicitor Suzanne Kingston.

Premarital agreements fall into a grey area - they're not legally enforceable but a judge will take an agreement into consideration.

So who needs one? "You should think about getting one if you're wealthy and bring substantial assets into the marriage, or perhaps if you're older and onto a second marriage and you want to preserve the money you gained from the divorce," says Kingston.

Whatever your decisions it's very important to seek financial advice, whether it's for the joint running of your finances, pensions, investments or simply saving to purchase your first home or to start a family.

Click here to read a series of articles related to financial planning submitted by Stephen Le Fondre from Synergy Ltd.