Love Lines

All men are animals, some just make better pets.

One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn,got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence.

My wife ran away with my best friend. I sure miss him.

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her - or something like that.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met.

First of all you've got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Behind every successful man is a woman... Behind her is his wife.

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.

When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

The gifts you buy your wife are never as apropos as the gifts your neighbour buys his wife.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Nest egg or goose egg - depends on the chick you marry...

If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

He was so lazy that he married a pregnant woman.

She had been married so many times that she had rice marks on her face.

I thought that I could love no other. Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace. If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace. But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes. Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tel. Except for maybe "go to hell".

What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.