Presents

In the past the bride and groom came back from their honeymoon to set up house together having lived with their parents. They needed everything for their houses: linen, china, cutlery and even furniture. Guests contributed towards the couple's future by giving money or gifts that would help them settle down together. Presents were often expensive and reflected the wealth of the donor rather than their relationship with the couple. Thus, the local landowner would be expected to give a fairly substantial amount of money at a wedding while the grocer could get away with less, even if he was the bride's uncle. Presents were displayed at the reception as status was reflected by the number of gifts received and the donors wanted their generosity much admired.

In keeping with this tradition and as a mark of affection, many of your family and friends will want to buy you a gift - whether or not they will be attending your wedding. Although they are under no obligation, you will find that those attending your ceremony will almost certainly buy you a gift, whereas those invited to your reception or evening party only may not.

Nowadays things have changed. Couples live together before they marry or have lived away from home for a number of years. In many cases both own an iron and a kettle and even their own homes. Because of this the wedding list has evolved, allowing the bride and groom to prevent people giving them things they already own or to stop the arrival of 5 kettles and 3 toasters.

There are three common ways of organising this:

• A wedding list with a particular shop.
   
• A wedding list with a specialised gift list company that allows the couple to choose items from a range of shops. This option may cost money.
   
• The most old fashioned way, a wedding list held by the bride's mother where guests phone up and state their intention of buying a toaster etc. This list could be simply to avoid duplication or could have specific requests on it, with the shops where items can be purchased.

Many shops and list companies will provide you with a card or leaflet to include with the invitations. Some people are very uncomfortable with this although many guests like to have things made easy for them and are very used to this practice.

Don't make your list too long as you may not get the whole dinner service that you desperately want and might find it expensive to complete for yourselves. Keep the list limited and you will ensure that you receive the items that you really want. Items are usually for the house but many lists nowadays include luxury items and even games for the computer or clothes.

Whatever your decision it is absolutely vital that thank you letters are written for all the gifts you receive. You may choose to write these as the gifts arrive.You may choose to write them after the honeymoon. You should make sure that any gifts received at the reception are kept with their tags or cards. You wouldn't want to thank Aunt Mary for something given to you by your Peruvian backpacking friend. These letters are usually written by the bride but modern couples will share the task.

Favour Facts You Should Know

Are there unusual ways to present wedding favours besides leaving them on a table, or at each place setting? If your wedding is going to have a specific theme, how do you find favours to match it?

Favour Basics
Not only are your wedding favours miniature gifts of gratitude thanking your guests for attending, they are also a vital part of the atmosphere, or even the decorations. Whether you decide for favours to perform double-duty as decorations, ceremony additions, or prizes for reception games, tailor your personal tastes to decide on which favours are for you. Here are some of our ideas:

If you're having a large wedding and can't afford a favour for each and every guest, it is perfectly acceptable to give one favour per couple. Kill two birds with one stone, and attach placecards to the favour if you want to be sure each guest receives their memento.

If you're not having a sit-down dinner, and there are no place settings on which to place favours, put them in baskets, and ask ushers to hand them out as guests are leaving the reception.

If your favours are ceremony additions such as bubbles or bells, be sure your guests get them as they are entering the ceremony, so they will have an opportunity to use them!

Want to have a little fun with your favours? Play a game during the reception in which guests "win" prizes (either individually or by table) for answering trivia questions, writing poems, making orgami, or other creative endeavors.

Unique Presentation
Here are some ideas if you don't want to do the same old boring favour-on-the-placesetting thing. Especially helpful if you want to incorporate a specific theme.

Having a Holiday wedding? Give ornaments as favours, and hang them on a tree for guests to pick up as they leave.

For seaside or summertime weddings, place favours on a giant surfboard, or in beach buckets full of sand at each table, letting guests grab their own.

Giving away beautiful favours like organza bags of rose petals, or small wedding bells? Tie them to the back of each chair with a big ribbon for a decoration that doubles as a favour.

Use personalized chocolate bars created to also be placecards. Line them up on a table as guests enter the reception - a placecard and a favour!

Want to be sure your guests know how much you (or he) loves golf? Place personalized golf tees in a pot of faux "turf", or fill cellophane bags with chocolate golf balls, and write your message on a scorecard.

Use "send off" favours - bubbles or doilies full of rose petals or jingle bells - and place them in baskets as guests enter the ceremony. Or have the ushers hand them out as guests enter.

Put an alternative gift table next to your gift table. For the couple's gift table, make a sign that says "Our Gifts", and for the favour table make a sign that says "Your Gifts", so everyone is sure to take one.

This works really well if you're not having a receiving line, but instead going from table to table during dinner. Place favours in a basket, and carry it around as you say your hellos and "thanks for coming"s, handing each guest a small token personally.

For those of you who enjoy shopping "on-line", one of the best internet Wedding Favour suppliers is www.weddingfavours.uk.com . We recently ordered a selection of favours from them on-line and found their speedy and personal service excellent. If you do decide to use them tell them we sent you !